Livestock

Kambich: How not to die, the Beans way

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The hardest part about being at Montana State University is how boring my life becomes. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Hanna, c’mon it’s college! Go party, do homework, join a club!” While it doesn’t take much to entertain me, I find chasing steers around a mountain, fencing with my brother, or almost getting run over by a bull, way more exciting than livestock evaluation class or logarithm homework. I think it’s the adrenaline rush or the just pure entertainment I get from watching my brother get mad because, “You aren’t doing the splice right!”

Since I can’t be there to oversee the operation, and to make sure they aren’t having too much fun without me, I call home to catch up on all the juicy details (yes, I did just say “juicy” while talking about cattle). I called my dad, lovingly known as “Beans,” on Monday night to tell him I got a job and that my classes were going really well. I got some joy and entertainment out of this phone call. I mean, naturally he wasn’t in a good mood, so I had to contain my giggling (but it didn’t work very well). Here is how the phone call went:

Me: “Hi Dad!”

Dad: “Hi Hanna.” (Said in his signature tone of dulled excitement)

Me: “I just wanted to call and let you know I got a job and my classes went really well today! I am really excited for my range class! How was your day?”

Dad: “Good, I’m glad! Well, the day was there.”

Me: “Oh, what did you do?”

Dad: “Well I went up to the Big Hole. I found another heifer with pneumonia. I tried getting her to the corral. Well, that didn’t work. I had to run all the way back home (40 miles one way) to get the dart gun.”

For your information: The dart gun is a tool we use to doctor the ungrateful, four-legged, mooing animals in the field. You attach to a can of nitrogen to it and load it with a dart containing medicine. Then, you shoot it like a Nerf gun. No animals (or Beans) are hurt in the process of making them better!

Dad continued: “I got the dart gun and went back up there and was trying to doctor her on the 4-wheeler. Well, she was trying to kill me on the 4-wheeler. So, you wanna know what I did?”

Me: “Sure Dad, what did you do?”

Dad: “I went and grabbed the goddamn tractor and doctored her on that. She couldn’t figure out how to kill the tractor.”

At this point I was trying not to cry from laughing so hard (not directly into the phone of course). I can just picture little ole Beans, puttering up the hill in the tractor toward uncertain death. I really love making these phone calls to home, they make my week of livestock judging and logarithms a bit more tolerable.

 

Hanna Kambich is a sophomore majoring in Agricultural Business at Montana State University. She spends most of her time working on the family ranch and writes about the day-to-day activities in her blog “The Ranch Hand’s Life.”

Any views or opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect those of AGDAILY. Comments on this article reflect the sole opinions of their writers.
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